Conversations That Count
At the turn of the century I was forty-six years old and a decade into my career as a self-employed mentor and professional speaker. In 2000 I published my first book and so added writer to my resume.
As I look back many conversations counted and emboldened me to do things I had never done that turned out to be essential to success.
I’m extremely grateful to my wife Carol, family members, neighbours, friends, clients and colleagues, and mentors, for their willingness and expertise to inspire me to go to new levels.
In the past twenty-two years conversations that count have increased in their velocity and are the driving force of my life and work.
Five conversations in particular have stood out in terms of their massive impact on my work. These five have been game changers.
The first was in early 2005 when I explored research completed in 2004 by Dr. Brent Peterson from Columbia University. He found that 50% of learning happens after an event and 26% prior to an event. I began introducing this to clients in 2005.
The consequences of applying this research have been profound for my clients and myself ever since. I can confidently guarantee to you that working together will mean a minimum of 10 times return on your investment when you undertake carefully designed and collaborative pre and post work.
A few years later I began combining pre and post with my proven pathway to innovation. Results for clients became even better. You can read about this combination here.
A second conversation that counted I had with my best friend Terry Jenner in April of 2011. TJ passed in May.
I had written most of my fourth book Changing What’s Normal (published in June 2011) on Terry’s patio while he was sleeping. He had had a massive heart attack in April 2010 and never recovered. On this particular day a year later I was reading to TJ a chapter in Changing What’s Normal dedicated to his concept of ‘enhancing the gift’. He was thrilled about it and in a subsequent conversation he pleaded with me to ‘never die wondering’.
TJ and myself had thousands of conversations over our twenty year friendship. He had an uncanny knack of good timing. I had been contemplating making changes to how I worked and to being bolder and braver. Changing What’s Normal, the book I always wanted to write, was a first step.
The third conversation that counted was with my oncologist in July of 2011. My lymphoedema, a side effect of an operation I had in the ‘70’s’ was getting worse and my doctor was advising me to stop flying regularly. At that time in my career I was flying most weeks with 80% of my work being outside my home state, including 20% overseas.
The fourth conversation that counted was with my wife Carol. It resulted in a decision to move back to our home state of Victoria where I thought, without evidence, that it was possible to reinvent the way I worked and to do most of my work in three cities, all close to home. TJ’s ‘never die wondering’ plea echoed often and loudly.
My decision to stop flying regularly over time led me to begin to work online with clients whom I would no longer see in person. It was a bit scary in the early days of Skype and never really became reliable until Zoom.
The experience helped me to develop with clients fifteen conversations that count. The fifteen are Heart-Flow, Process-Practice Review, Self-talk, Aspirations/Appreciation/Accountability, Feedforward, Feedback, How’s things going?, Just Being There, Values Behaviours, After-Action-Reviews, Mentor Moments, Peer Group, Peer Review, Value Exchange and Delivery, Weekly Check-ins. You can read overviews of each one here.
Partly because of the success of using and teaching these fifteen conversations that count, in 2012 I began to shift my work online. Today I rarely work outside of my home office which leads me to the fifth conversation that has counted. It’s actually the same conversation repeated many times.
I asked all my clients if I moved to online can will still work together? Thankfully a high percentage said yes. My clients have been instrumental in further developing and growing the fifteen conversations that count. My clients have also been paramount to the thirteen pillars of wise conversations which are crucial to success online. You can read about the thirteen here.
My online clients have also played a vital role in the development of a process that works for all kinds of conversations. Initially I tested it in my We Need To Talk Experience and then introduced it to groups meeting regularly. The process is pictured below.
Stories inspire conversations which enrich relationships that lead to more stories and conversations, which in turn enable special action/s.
Why not experience this process yourself in the next episode of We Need To Talk, my signature online program. Each episode is standalone. Learn more and register from here.
You can experience the process more regularly by becoming a member of a Wise Leaders Community group. There are four groups. Three have vacancies. Learn more here.
I use the pre and post and innovation process combined in all my bespoke mentoring. Learn more here. Currently I have two vacancies in my private client mentoring roster.
For me it’s becoming clear that two skills in particular are essential for success from 2023, being a heretic, the subject matter of the episode of We Need To Talk mentioned above, and being a trusted conversation sage. My work is dedicated to helping you to thrive in these two skills.
Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian